Self giving self care

There is a quote by C.S. Lewis about humility that seems to define self care accurately: “true humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.”

We often associate self care with selfish and enjoyable acts; a tasty dessert, an hour of video games, a goofy TV show, etc., (I tried to restrain from saying bubble baths but here I am… bubble baths).

Are your actions oriented toward the good of the other? Are they oriented toward love? Even self-care needs to be oriented in this manner, or else it is worthless and ultimately, more painful in the long run. Why are you doing what you are doing? Is there purpose? As a parent, are you using your time to re-fuel, re-engage, and re-energize your ability to give of yourself and not just suffer through frustration, but sacrifice? Only in this will you find joy.

If my wife tells me to take 10 minutes to myself for an emotional break, am I using that, out of gratitude, to refuel my emotional and moral centers to come back more grounded and ready to help with the kids? Or, am I watching unedifying, wasteful YouTube clips that make me more dull to the feelings I need to feel? It is an honest question I ask with sincerity, from a place of genuineness I have this experience myself.

I settle with these questions and contemplations, (some of which do not have an answer): how does my self-compassion incorporate healthy challenge? How can my self-care incorporate something greater than myself? And in doing so, can I re-write the meaning of self care in its entirety?

To the last question, perhaps there is an answer: Yes, you can. And in any small way imaginable, I encourage you to do so. You can do this, because you are called to do so. You are made for this. Have faith in your purpose, because purpose becomes groundedness. Go get em.